FORM FOLLOWS JUNCTION

I awoke lying on small mound of things flaccid and rancid, everything that would have rendered you and your consummate middle class ideals into something broken, impotent and threatening.

If you're local to Oregon, clicking the link will tell you how to get tickets, but they may already be sold out by the time you read this. If you do get the chance to go, though, I can come close to guaranteeing you that you'll have a good time and enjoy yourself, and find yourself singing songs from the show moments after the final curtain.

Hygiene, aesthetics, ambience… all the major illusions inverted to the point of paroxysm.

The show is a cajun puppet musical, meaning it utilizes some of the tradtional Americana puppet methods and incorporates elements of Cajun culture: the river, coffee, the cafe' lifestyle, jazz, paddleboats. All of these elements come together for a bizarre comedic tale that's also got some great songs (the harmonies on display aere fantastic).

Dead fish. Salmon. Shrimp. Banana peels. Banana Leaves. Ants and rice. I smelt like cat piss.

If you take a look at the website, you'll see what this show is all about, but this can only give you a taste of just how awesome this show really is, and I'm not just saying that because it's local or anything.

It was unpleasant, but I was comfortable.

Now, if only I can find a copy of this MADMAN movie that HORRORHOUND is talking about in this article ... anyone think it's any good?

I could hear two people, one male, one female, arguing behind the wall next to the garbage heap.

So, anyway, I'd recommend THE BURNING, if you haven't seen it. I think it deserves to be held up there with some of the more respected genre efforts of this time. Next up on that HORRORHOUND list is ALONE IN THE DARK - and not the version with Christian Slater!

The only memories I have of my mother’s features are a collection of lines enshrouded by crisscrosses of darkness, the afterimage of microbes on the surface of the thin layer of fluid around my eyeballs dancing around her blurry contours like an aura.

It's a SHAME that it's not more well-known, too, because I found the idea of it having a Final Boy and also the way it kept its focus on the heroes instead of the villain to be really refreshing - so much so that I felt like it was too bad they never did THE BURINNG 2 as is discussed in the audio commentary. I sort of found myself imagining a parallel world where we got CROPSY VS. JASON instead of that other guy, where we had comparisons to whether or not THE BURNING PART 6 was better than FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VI.

After I was born my parents taught me how to talk and write in 3 weeks, with the prolonged and excessive usage of brain jacks, literally installing information into a hard drive that was my brain through the circuitry manipulation of my neurons.

Anyway, next I want to talk about THE BURNING. Oddly, I had no expectations about this one - maybe that's why I enjoyed it so much more than MY BLOODY VALENTINE. Cropsy is a terrifying villain and there are some absolutely crazy scenes in this movie, but the best part about it was that it felt so much more real than a lot of these kinds of slasher movies - the kids at the camp didn't all look to be about 30, we get some perspective on the villain so we know he's more than just a sadistic monster, there are little bits of characterization throughout that focus more on the campers than the killer. I actuaally liked how the movie's primary and principle focus during the stressful moments was on the kids and how they were dealing with the evil monster haunting them. I prefer that to endless POV shots (though there are some of those) where the auidence is clearly 'meant to sympathize' as it were with the monster. FRIDAY THE 13TH is guilty of this, of course, but it's still a favorite of mine - but I prefer it when we focus on the heroes of the story and not the villains.

My nursery was the Pink Room, where everything was plastic and smelt of disinfectant. After my mind was wired up to do what it was meant to do, I was locked up in it for 17 years. The brain jacks made me autistic so it wasn’t like I was capable of much socializing anyhow.

The problem with MY BLOODY VALENTINE is that it begins with this cool mythology of the character, with this great horror premise and is well-shot and has this great setting of this miner town, but the whole second half when the attacks actually go down in the mine just falls apart, right down to an ending that left me baffled. It's not that the ending is really all that confusing to me. What left me baffled was trying to figure out what the ending was trying to suggest happened to the villain. I wasn't sure if it was deliberately supposed to be vague, or if there was some big point I was missing - and the way the whole thing with the party is handled just feels 'off' to me, like it was hurried or rushed, and the cool character development going on during the first half disappesrs in the crisis - when I was hoping all those moments would pay off and we'd get more into the characters.

Every morning at precisely 6.45 a.m., after untying the strap that held the mint-flavored oral placebo (on weekends it was strawberry flavored) firmly at the back of my throat, mother would go out of the room, shut the door, and the lights would go on.

MY BLOODY VALENTINE I have to say starts out strong. I loved the visual of the Harry Warden character's costume, with the blacked-out eyes on the miner's mask. Miner's masks always scare me because they make me feel like the person can't breathe normal air and therefore is some kind of monster underneath.

Come to think of it I’m not even sure that was my mother. Could have been a very dedicated nursemaid.

Anyway, they did an article about 20 overlooked slasher movies and I realized that I'd just recently gotten a Netflix account but there were two I had never seen that I'd always been meaning to check out: MY BLOODY VALENTINE and THE BURNING.

“Mother” would slide a pen and pad underneath the door, and I would pick them up, go to the pink desk by the pink nightstand, and write.

Here, he's got a fantastic script to work with that deals with depth and complexity while still staying wholly true to the comic book origins of the characters. Every single character who's ever been part of the comic universe of Batman who appears in this movie works 100 percent in-character. The movie catches the spirit of all of the comic book elements and stays completely true to them while at the same time telling a story that could just as easily happen in the real world as any of the best thrillers. A lot of the time watching this, I was reminded of TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A. in terms of the way the story plays out, more than any comic book movie.

I would spend exactly 8 hours writing about meat cleavers, second chances, true love, and dogs copulating in the alley outside of… whatever the hell I was confined in, were it a maze or a desert.

First off, the performances are just astonishingly good - especially Heath Ledger as The Joker. Everything you've heard about Heath is true. He proves to all the people out there what a good actor he could be when he was given the right material with which to work.

I was never sure if the universe outside was finite or infinite. Come to think of it, how could I even be sure if there were a universe outside? At the mean time, life goes on.

I was never sure if the universe outside was finite or infinite. Come to think of it, how could I even be sure if there were a universe outside? At the mean time, life goes on.

I was never sure if the universe outside was finite or infinite. Come to think of it, how could I even be sure if there were a universe outside? At the mean time, life goes on.

A recent TIME magazine article (http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1827342,00.html) recently suggested half-hour exercise sessions are ineffective. Although advocated by Leslie Vernon, I think developing one's cardio is a good idea for reasons that have nothing to do with a snarky/subpar "horror" movie featuring an unsympathetic heroine. I want to live a long time, myself, and as a result I think it's important to support my body and mind with the soothing and healthy environment of the nature trail. You ought to get out of the house and give it a try today. I'm glad I did.

I was never sure if the universe outside was finite or infinite. Come to think of it, how could I even be sure if there were a universe outside? At the mean time, life goes on.

With all the technology I deal with every day, I appreciate the opportunity to get the chance to get away from machines - and the people who use them. Once in a while I see people on the pathways listening to headphones. I tried that a few times and I just couldn't get into it. I needed to hear the sound of the leaves and the way the long fields of grainy-yellow plants would crackle when an animal walks through them. I'm not a misanthrope by nature, but I do enjoy this time a lot.

was never sure if the universe outside was finite or infinite. Come to think of it, how could I even be sure if there were a universe outside? At the mean time, life goes on.

There are rabbits hopping right along the sides of the road like you usually only see on the cover of a jigsaw-puzzle box, complete with a broken twig halfway in their mouths. Little newts with their couldn't-care-less expressions do little plodding lizard-walks across leaf-strewn concrete pathways, occasionally pausing to swim through puddles that to them are like big lakes - or, at the least, water-hazards. Today, I was about five feet away from a deer.

I was never sure if the universe outside was finite or infinite. Come to think of it, how could I even be sure if there were a universe outside? At the mean time, life goes on.

It turns out, we didn't end up TAKING the Max train, because there was a LINE that barely moved for about ten minutes when my friend and I got to Sunset Transit Center. There was no line at a ticket machine that was accepting tickets for 10 people per purchase, but since I didn't have any cash I couldn't pool with anybody else and at this point my friend decided it would probably be easier and faster to just drive down and find a place to pay for parking for a little bit.

I would spend exactly 8 hours writing about meat cleavers, second chances, true love, and dogs copulating in the alley outside of… whatever the hell I was confined in, were it a maze or a desert.

Now, since this entry - like the last one - pretty much has nothing to do with the kind of horror-fan mania you commonly associate with Spymunk aka Splattermunk, I'll close by plugging CABIN FEVER. Seriously, it's just one of my top favorites of all time. Those of you who have experienced this gem, this total opus of awesomeness will understand. Those of you who haven't seen it need to get on the ball as of yesterday. OK? OK!

Mother fed me based on what I wrote.